Today was an exercise in frustration, mostly due to client behavior at work. On top of that I forgot my phone charger, my sketchbook (my important one anyway), and my Surface Pro charger broke earlier in the week (paid for 2 day shipping three days ago and they haven’t even shipped it yet), so even though I have been trying very hard to throw myself into my studies lately to help with my mental health I wasn’t able to do much today. On the bright side though I was able to get a fair amount of anatomy study done. It wasn’t really what I wanted to work on today but it needed to get done at some point, so yay.
I’m still only about 1/4 of the way through the Loomis book, I’ve got to step up my game if I’m going to finish it + my other goals (namely at least 2 character sheets for my personal project + the digital painting lessons I want to start next week) by October. Obviously, my next goal needs to be improving my time management. When I was in college since I just had weekly instead of daily assignments I did stuff “whenever”, but I’m holding myself to both drawing as well as practicing Arabic every day now and it’s getting overwhelming
Now yesterday, I completed the “Speak in a Week” course from Fluent in 3 Months. The last assignment was, of course, to actually speak- we recorded ourselves saying a few things and then posted the video. Bear in mind the purpose is more to push yourself out of your comfort zone than anything else, and it certainly did that. I know my Arabic is atrocious right now and seeing as I have ZERO self esteem I’m convinced a bunch of assholes are going to find my sad little video on youtube and take the time out of their life to reinforce just how terrible I am at speaking it right now and how much of a failure I must be because of that.
And since I’m apparently a masochist I’m going to go ahead and post it here, so even more people can see how terrible I am.
But you know what? Despite my discomfort and paranoia and current lack of ability I can’t even fully express how much I’ve been enjoying learning Arabic. When I was learning Russian I studied for a good few years and even so, listening to Russian just felt like listening to white noise. (I felt I immersed myself quite a bit at the time, though looking back compared to what I do now, it wasn’t that much.) I really couldn’t pick out much of any words most of the time (as in, even define words within a sentence, much less pick out ones I knew). It felt so out of reach. I’ve only been listening to Arabic for about…two weeks? Actively learning for one? Yet Arabic seems so…familiar. It’s hard to describe. It’s not just white noise. I can actually pick out words. The rhythm makes sense.
To try to push my immersion I’ve changed my phone’s language to Arabic. That’s been a challenge, but I’m trying to force myself to actually read it and not just guess what I’m doing based on my familiarity with my phone, and each time I recognize a word I feel so excited. So I’m trying to use those moments of excitement to build my momentum and keep going despite my awkwardness and discomfort. 🙂
هذا كل شىء في الوقت الحالي